Sermon by Rev'd Stephen Kern
25th April 2010

5th Sunday of Easter - New Beginnings Sermon Series
Can we make things new with others?
 

I am made by love, with love, in love, for love,
We are made by love, with love, in love, for love
.
 

Like some of you, I saw our accountant recently to collect our tax bill. He’s a wonderful Christian man, and he asked what I was preaching about on Sunday. I told him that we were preaching a series for Easter season, about new beginnings. Hey, he said, maybe you could work me into the sermon, "We’re all about new beginnings here" he said of his CA practice. Well I reflected, I don’t think the people want to hear about the new beginning of getting their Revenue Canada account back to zero!
 

We are talking today about new relationships, about applying the great Good News of the resurrection to our interpersonal relationships. We asked the question, "Is it possible to heal a relationship that is not working, a relationship that is "broken"? To answer in a word, yes it is, healing is possible in difficult relationships. We can overcome the wounds that being in relationship can produce. Though before I continue I must make a couple of qualifying remarks. Some relationships at certain points may require the assistance of professional help. It is not the goal of this sermon to take the place of such professional help- that is beyond my capacity and the scope of a 15 minute homily. I also have to say that some relationships have caused so much harm that they have become what some call "toxic" relationships. For those relatively rare situations, beginning the path of healing means stopping the hurt. This may mean a cessation of contact. Setting those rather wide qualifications, let’s take a moment to reflect on a difficult relationship in your life, if you have any. It may be with a family member, a co-worker, business partner or neighbor. Bring some of those challenging relationships to mind, and have them in the background as we proceed with the sermon.
 

I am convinced there are tremendous spiritual resources in our loving God to assist us to move toward healing in our nearest and dearest relationships. Not least among these is the example and teaching of our Lord Jesus, who was the object of hatred, scorn, misunderstanding, deep love, heart-rending betrayal and even murder. Now please don’t take the defense that I have heard several times, "Well, he was the Son of God, what does his perfect experience have to do with me? I am only human!" The mainstream church has always taught that Jesus was at least fully human, and that what we see in his life and teaching is the path to a deeper, richer, more REAL humanity. With the ancient church over the ages, we look to Jesus as an example.
 

Our gospel reading today is part of the text that we read on Maundy Thursday, which is literally "Commandment Thursday." The new commandment Jesus gives to his little community of followers- really nothing more than a small group and their families- the new commandment is to love one another as I have loved you. This type of self-giving love is the mark of a follower of Jesus. Expressing such love is not a prerequisite to being a follower of Jesus, it is a fruit of the spirit of Jesus at work in those who seek to follow in his path of love. This fruit, the life of love, is a witness to the world that followers of Jesus are present. Jesus himself lived this life of love, even though it erupted controversy wherever he went.
 

"Love one another as I have loved you". Are these just pious words, a spiritual idealism that is out of touch with the realities of our life circumstances?
 

The remarkable character of our Lord is revealed not only in what he commands, but in the circumstances in which he says it. "Love one another as I have loved you" he says. The context of his statements are remarkable.
 

In the Scripture passage just before Jesus gives this new command, Judas, his good friend, had just gone out to betray him. Jesus predicted this, and the scripture with profound understatement says, "he was troubled in his spirit." He was wounded and saddened by the betrayal, as any of us would have been. American playwright Steven Deitz wrote, "betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope." 1
Many people after such an experience of betrayal would have been numbed, shocked, and incapable of even being social, much less giving such a beautiful commandment to his followers. "Love each other"- I think this teaching came from deep in Jesus heart, and it was a wounded heart, grieved with pain and sorrow. How could his relationship with Judas have sunk to such an angry, vengeance-filled state? Jesus knows the sorrow and the pain of broken relationships. In him, our pain too is lifted up as an offering to God. Yet from this experience Jesus commands those who follow, to love.


1.
www.finestquotes.com/select_quote-category-Betrayal-page-0.htm
 

Immediately following this, Peter boldly declares that he would lay down his life rather than be separated from his master. Jesus responds, "Will you really? Peter, before the alarm clock stops ringing you will deny me three times."
 

At the beginning of the sermon, I said that some relationships will not be healed in this life. As far as we have record, Jesus’ relationship with Judas was not healed in this life. Peter, on the other hand, by the generosity of Jesus, found three-fold healing for his three-fold denial. Love one another, as I have loved you.
 

In his life and teaching, Jesus was fashioning a new community, typified by love. This was and is his goal, and two pitfalls to avoid are paralyzing guilt and cynical rejection of the ideal. It can be excruciatingly difficult to love those who have wounded us, and the command to love seems only to add the fire of guilt to the pain of broken relationships. Guilt can be an obstruction to God’s healing if it keeps one looking only at one’s own limited resources, and not toward God’s possibilities. Regarding cynicism, one need only look at the newspaper or church history to see how poorly the followers of Christ have fulfilled the command to love one another as Christ loves us. Cynicism falls into the same trap as guilt- the trap of hopelessness.
 

God’s desire is, I believe, to work healing in our relationships. God is mysteriously able to work in ways beyond that we can ask or imagine. I have experienced this in my life-I have seen again and again relationships that seemed beyond hope, grow to new life over time.
 

Prayer is often the unpolished gem we carry with us, or the oft un-opened gift that is ours in the midst of relationships that have gone sour. Jesus teaches us to pray for those who spitefully use us, and elsewhere, to pray for one’s enemies. Now we as polite and kind Anglican Christian Canadians are loathe to admit that we might have enemies. Nor are we likely to see those we are in relationship with as enemies…so let’s change the wording and work with the principle. "Bless those who bug you, who irritate you. Pray for those whose relationship with you has soured."
 

There is mysterious power in prayer. If you ask God to bless, you are not asking God to condone their behaviour, but asking God to bring a full and deep healing upon the one for whom you pray. You are placing yourself in alignment with God’s will, for God’s will is to bless and heal. This does not mean you are asking God to bless the status quo, you are asking God in to work a healing change, in both you and the one with whom you have a wounded relationship.
 

Part of prayer for you, if we learn from the great prayer book of the ancient church- the book of psalms; part of prayer is also to vent. Tell God directly your woes and wounds, tell God how it hurts and hampers, holding you back from freedom and peace. This is what the bible calls, "pouring out your heart before God." If you are hurt, tell God so. If you feel betrayed, badly treated, misunderstood, taken for granted, angry, overstretched- vent this to God in a straightforward manner. God hears the cry of the wounded-heart, and loves.
 

I have found in my own life that when I am finished venting, I am in a new, silent place, and here I wait. With my emotions shared, my heart open and receptive, I am quieted.
 

In this silence, one might hear whispers of revelation, of new understanding, insight, or perhaps a course of action, a way forward in the path of healing. As you sit with that, in that open space, as your time draws to a close, bless. Ask God’s blessing on yourself and the other. "God, please pour out your healing blessing on" and use their name. And ask God’s blessing upon yourself, perhaps place your hand on your heart as you do so.
 

And I give you a little mantra to say to yourself as you go about your daily life. A mantra is a word or simple repetitive prayer to keep you mindful of the grace in which you stand.
 

Here’s a mantra
I am made by love, with love, in love, for love.
 

I am made by love reminds that God is love, and God has made us, and given to us the gift of ourselves.
 

I am made by love, with love. God is love, and made us with loving attention to detail. Like a parent who cooked a special meal for you with loving attention, so God made you with love. Even every hair on your head, from top to toe. You were made in God’s love, to live in love and offer God’s love. You and I have a mission of love to carry out as best we can.
 

Now, this mantra gets us settled in who we are and in whom we stand. We can work this mantra as a powerful prayer to work healing in our relationships by changing the "I" to "We," including the person with whom you are currently having a challenging time.
 

"We are made by love, with love, in love, for love."
 

Such a prayer opens us to God’s healing grace, and invites God’s presence into our wounded relationships. It helps us to take responsibility for our relationships, and quickens us to rise and be all we can be. It also reminds us that we alone can not and are not responsible for the outcome of the relationship. It takes two to tango, and the other party will have their part to do
 

New beginnings in old relationships are possible. The resurrection of Christ witnesses to and creates new beginnings. Our good God has given us tremendous spiritual resources to help us move forward on the path of healing. We have the life and teachings of our Lord Jesus as example and witness, and the gift of blessing and prayer to help us.
 

Earlier, I asked you to consider a relationship in your life that may have soured. I invite you to take a moment in this silence, to ask God to bless you and them in this relationship
 

Amen.